Terms of Use
By reading this sentence, you have already agreed to all of the following.
The authoritative terms of use for all Specific Industries properties are maintained at specificindustries.com. View Privacy Policy
Effective: Before you were born. Expires: Never.
1. Acceptance of Terms
By visiting this website, breathing near this website, or thinking about pig milk in any capacity, you agree to be bound by these terms. Closing this tab does not constitute disagreement. Looking away from your screen does not constitute disagreement. Nothing constitutes disagreement. You have agreed. Welcome.
2. Limitation of Liability
Pig Milk Creamery is not liable for anything. Not for the quality of our pig milk (questionable), not for the accuracy of our nutritional facts (fictional), not for the behavior of our pigs (unpredictable), and especially not for whatever Sir Oinks-a-Lot does. He is his own entity and we have no control over him. Nobody does.
3. Product Disclaimers
Our products are not FDA-approved, not doctor-recommended, not scientist-endorsed, and not particularly enjoyed by anyone we've surveyed. Any health claims on this website are entirely made up. "Pig Energy" is not a real unit of measurement. The nutritional facts panel is a work of creative fiction. If you actually consume pig milk based on anything you read here, that is entirely on you, and frankly we're impressed.
4. Intellectual Property
All content on this website — including text, images, product names, pig portraits, and the concept of milking pigs for commercial gain — is the intellectual property of Pig Milk Creamery We use the term "intellectual" loosely. You may not reproduce, distribute, or display any of this content without our written permission, though honestly we'd be flattered if you tried.
5. User Conduct
You agree not to use this website for any purpose that is unlawful, harmful, or involves competing pig milk operations. You agree not to attempt to milk our pigs without authorization. You agree not to make eye contact with Duchess (she doesn't like it). You agree that Kevin is trying his best and you will not say otherwise.
6. Dispute Resolution
Any disputes arising from these terms shall be resolved by a panel of three pigs selected at random from our facility. Their decision is final. They will communicate their ruling through a series of oinks that Earl will interpret. Earl's interpretation is also final. There is no appeals process. The pigs have spoken.
7. Governing Law
These terms are governed by the laws of Hogtown, Wisconsin, a place we made up. In the event that Hogtown does not have applicable laws (it doesn't, because it's fictional), we will defer to whatever Earl thinks is fair. Earl is a reasonable man. He milks pigs for a living, but he is reasonable.